Campaign '62

Which message will resonate with voters?

Cimmeron, South Caph Regional Authority--In a televised debate Thursday night on the South Rim University campus, Governor Morenceau and candidate Arnold DeVallier outlined their positions on foreign and domestic polity issues.

Throughout the debate, two differing political agendas repeatedly surfaced--Governor Morenceau's "Let's Talk Better Mileage," a call for energy reform, and former New Derry Mayor DeVallier's "Kill the Bastards" plan.

Responding to a question about the South Rim's reliance on energy sources not controlled by the regional government, Morenceau said, "We have an opportunity to use technology and know-how to develop our own alternate, renewable energy sources, such as solar and wind power, freeing us from our reliance on foreign sources. This is sound policy, not just for the South Rim, but for the entire planet.'

Responding to the governor's remarks, DeVallier said, "While much of what Govenor Morenceau says is true, he is missing one very important point. That is, if the regional authority is to continue to prosper in the 3060s and beyond, we must join together and kill the bastards."

During the debate, Morenceau confronted the 29-year old DeVallier about his call for deregulation of numerous social programs, including his controversial proposal to give tax breaks to the wealthy.

Responding to the charges, DeVallier said, "With these attacks, my opponent is trying to side-step the real issue here, and that is the tremendous importance of killing the bastards." The Sandoval Hall auditorium crowd erupted into a thunderous applause.

In an effort to win back the audience, Morenceau turned to the topic of urban renewal. "Next year, I will propose to council a sweeping revitalization program, with increased funding for the development of mass-transit systems, infrastructure rebuilding, and low-cost housing and job-training programs for disadvantaged minorities," Morenceau said.

"Kill the bastards, kill the bastards," repeated DeVallier throughout his allotted one-minute rebuttal.

Public-opinion polls show a 76 percent approval rating for DeVallier's "Kill the Bastards" plan, compared to only 11 percent for Morenceau's "Better Mileage" platform.

This is a shamless rip-off of an article from Our Dumb Century.

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